so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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