I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
In America we eat man semen.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have fence marks all over my body
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize