So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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