I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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