She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize