Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize