I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
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i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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