No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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