I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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