I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
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I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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