i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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