If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
FUCK WHALES
Randomize