i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize