You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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