I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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