i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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