Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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