after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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