I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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