Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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