When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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