if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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