i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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