still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
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He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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