Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
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...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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