some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize