I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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