i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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