Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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