i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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