if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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