she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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