Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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