i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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