Who wears a wallet chain?!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Help. Why am I so naked?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize