According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize