Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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