I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize