She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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