i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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