Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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