we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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