yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You are a genius and a whore.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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