Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
And then he peed in my hair
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