Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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