Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
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just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize