You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize