don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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