I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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