Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
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Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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